Wow. It's been a really long time since I've posted on here. A really long time. So what's new? I've graduated high school, took some college courses, and have been looking for employment ever since LoL I haven't been successful on that front yet. Other than that, not much else has changed. Unless you include the weather or the date.
Well, it seems that autumn is here to stay, Halloween is one week away, and I'm depressed. Sucks, eh? Yeah, it sucks. I don't know what to do, or what to say, or even think anymore. I don't want any more pain and drama in my life...it's not healthy, and it's not helping anything. Ugh. So frustrating. Why can't I be normal? What the fuck is wrong with me? Are you listening, God? Are you there? I could really use a miracle or two here!!!
I'm feeling much much better than I was this afternoon. Good news too. I'm not dying. Unless you count the fact that every breath you take could be your last. That's life. Now, I don't really see the point of immortality, nor do I approve of it. I don't think that I'd want to live forever...at age 207 my entire head would disappear below my pants. Of course, I don't condone suspenders either. That is just so...well, I don't even know what. If you have suggestions, let me know.
Okay, it's official. I feel sick. What could be worse? Evidence suggests that the medicine I am taking is causing this. Wonderful, isn't it? In the past two months, I've had three, yes, THREE blood tests. As if I didn't have enough pricks in my life. Why can't I just feel normal, if only for just a little while? I'm sure there's a conspiracy going aganst me. Okay, maybe not. Still, I would love an explanation.
Yet another icky day weather-wise. It feels more like spring than autumn. Argh this weather sucks!! Well, the Leafs won last night over the Penguins, so that's something to be happy about, I guess. Still depressed. Having a massive nic fit. Whatever.
Well, it's been a really long time since I've updated this thing, and since Wade really liked this window into my world, I've decided to take up journaling again. It's a dreary day outside - the sky wet, rainy and grey. I'm depressed, and our anniversary is coming up. I want to do something special, something to bring a huge smile to his face, but I don't know what or how to do it. Kind of frustrating. It hurts too...although I've probably hurt him more than he lets on. I don't know what to do.
Wow! Fuck it's been a long time since I updated this thing. Well, graduation is coming up, and hopefully I can pass English and walk. *crosses fingers* The play went well, so that was good!
content
depressed
mellow
sick
indescribable
loved